Oh, so confusing!

I haven't written in awhile and I'll have to add some info about my last confusing episode with a man, but for now, I can share another situation...

Tonight I went out for Halloween. The evening was fun, but started out slow. Well, it ended in a blog, so that should tell you something. My cousin and I ended up talking to two brothers. The one guy was clearly interested in her. They went off to talk and I ended up talking with this guy's brother. I was enjoying myself; trying to practice my sarcasm and flirting, and to be honest, this guy seemed to be eating it up. He was shocked that I could read him. He kept saying, "I hate you. I've only been talking to you for a half hour and you know me." He asked what "my story" was (34 and single). I told him I just haven't found a connection with someone. He asked if I was picky and I admitted that I am because I have standards and don't just get together with anyone. I told him I'd rather be alone than settle for an unhealthy relationship. Well, the guy I was talking to ended up going off somewhere and my cousin's "friend" went to the bathroom. She and I were talking and all of a sudden we see the brothers walk out the door! My cousin's friend walked back in after a minute and she asked if he was leaving. He said yes and all I could think was, "I can't believe that guy just left without even saying goodbye!" Now, really, I had already figured out that he seemed to have some issues. He told me a few times that he was a jerk, and my friend had mentioned earlier that he liked to hook up with women....so, was this a guy that I was really interested in??? No....but to not even say goodbye when you were talking to someone for an hour or so??? I DON'T GET MEN!!! He obviously wasn't interested in me as someone to date, but why couldn't he just be a gentleman and say goodbye! Is that so difficult?? This is exactly why I have a negative outlook on men. Am I going to lose sleep over it? Hell no, but this just adds to the red tape that some poor guy is going to have to cut through to finally get to my heart!

From what I've read in the media, there are a lot of single men and women, in there 30's, out there. Seems like a lot of those people have already been married and divorced too. Well, I'm not one of those. I've never been married (but hope to be someday soon!). Being single and dating in your thirties is difficult. Maybe other people in my shoes don't think so, but I do. I'm not the most outgoing or confident person, not into the "going out" scene anymore (it stinks being one of the oldest out now!), and don't have a job that has many men in it. So, like many people in my situation, I've been on the internet dating sites. I've been on them for awhile and have dated some nice guys, but obviously haven't found "the one". My biggest problem seems to be finding someone that I'm physically attracted to. Unlike meeting someone out in public from across the room, bar, store, etc., you don't have that "instant" attraction or chemistry. Someone's physical looks aren't the most important, but it is important to have attraction in a relationship and I just haven't found that yet.

I don't know what the purpose of my blog is really. Maybe just to share my dating experiences? It can be tough. I know other people my age are going through this too and I wonder what their experiences are like. I'd definitely prefer to meet someone "the old fashioned way", but it hasn't happened and I'm not going to just sit back and let "fate" bring someone to me. That would be ridiculous! No one has ever gotten a job by just sitting back and doing nothing. At this point in my life, I kind of feel like finding someone is a job. It's sad, but true, although this time around I'm trying to have fun, not analyze every little thing, and just see where things go. I know exactly what I want in someone, and I won't settle (like I've done in the past). I also know that I definitely have my negatives, so I'm trying to work on those things too. I do feel confident that "the one" is out there. I'm just meeting him a little later in life than I'd like too, but maybe that's what was supposed to happen and once I meet him, I'll understand why!